Pro Ana

I have always been taught that anorexia was wrong. And I have always believed it. Maybe still think that way. Probably in part due to the fact that I love food and eating, and couldn't imagine to live without it.
But, somethings change.
As i hace told in the introduction article (is it called that way?) I am fat. My height is 180 cm and my weight 103 kg.
Recently, looking for a new diet to try during two weeks and then eat like a pork again, I found a page with a promising diet. It consisted in making intermittent fasting two days a week, and on a day just eating from nine to six (I didn't read that last part until later). But the best thing was that they gave lots of advices to fight against hunger and the need to binge and thinspiration (what I didn't know what was) to reach it.
The page was called myproana. And I don't think it was the purpose of the page but I got in love with anorexia.
The friends who I told about thought that I was crazy or that it was dangerous. But I don't think so. Principally because I have not a distortionated vision of my body: really I am fat; and because I am going to use it just as a diet to be thin, like any other diet that I can do and control (being biology student kind of know how does the body works). And I'm not intended to die because of starvation, which is hard considering how much I love to eat.
So I took all that inspiration, copied it and saved it in all my devices to have it on hand, downloaded a water coach app and decided to start doing fasting on Sunday and Wednesday and to adopt some easy anorexic habits like drinking so much water to fill my stomach, eating slowly, chewing thirty times my bite before swallowing and all things like that.
Last week was my first week of this "diet" and didn't do it quite right. I forgot to count every chew, for example. Wednesday was a really tough day and I felt so much tempted to eat all the food that was all the time available and easily reachable in my home and being part of my routine and my life. It worked to show me how much I depend on food and eat it for inertia. On that day casually there was a earthquake which made me think I was sick until someone told me what it was. My stomach was growling like never before, but finally I achieved it! (except because without thinking I ate one cookie)
The next day was not precisely easier. After drinking plenty water I had a simple breakfast (really hard to stick to watching the super delicious food my father had made the day before) consisting of two toasts and a coffee, meal which didn't felt right on my stomach: I felt sick the hole morning and kind of hungry. But then I felt better.
That night I decided that the afternoon tea was going to be the very last meal I would have on a day.
And one week later I had lost 5 kg.
And there goes my beginning. I hope I can achieve my goals and look hotter and feel as good as they said it feels to intermittent fasting.